how to decrease


i know some of you out there wonder, “what’s with the lower case letters?” and most of you could probably care less, but for those of you who do, in short, i loathe and detest capital letters. as a poet/writer they’re just not my aesthetic.

that was the reason for most of the past few years, why i rarely use a capital letter in my writings–i just don’t like them. however, i did have to train myself to use small i’s to make my writing more uniform. lower case i’s just looked strange to me. despite their strangeness, a lone, lower case i is always striking because, it looks like it’s striving to be something–striving to be a part of something bigger.

all through our lives we are taught the by itself stands taller than the other letters–all eyes on i, or all eyes on me. we are taught the does not need anything to be everything other capital letters are with the support of other letters and punctuation. aside from lower case letters’ aesthetic properties, in the last nine months or so, i’ve been thinking more and more, and looking back on some of my poems; the only capitalizations are of God, Jesus, or any disambiguation of He or You (referring to God). under this principle, i found a new use for lower case letters, especially since i began trying to take music and writing seriously. i want to keep myself away from the mentality that i can do anything by myself away from God, or be bigger than the community of support He has placed around me. i keep hearing, “He must increase, and i must decrease.” i know it may be a bit silly to some, and the idea isn’t necessarily novel, but for me it’s just a physical reminder there is Love greater and bigger than the things i think i’ve accomplished.

the title of this post is “how to decrease,” and i am in no way saying if you start putting everything you write into lower case letters, you’ll miraculously be less arrogant, less selfish, or less whatever. the only way i truly decrease is practicing humbleness; striving to live in the mentality that i am a speck of dust that often drifts with the first wind to pick me up, and that i need a big God to settle me. i need a God who gives me other people to help, and other people to help me so we can learn from each other. i need a God who challenges me to do strange and uncomfortable things no matter how small. i need a God who reminds me rule number one of decreasing is realizing i don’t know everything, in fact i don’t know anything.

decreasing means a constant hunger to have the heart of a Man who did no wrong.


and, etc.

Jesus is my homie.

No, more.

Jesus is my savior and healer and I am a friend of God. I speak with Him every day, but not as I should. And I feel, and I feel

so low I cannot be bothered to give Him even thirty minutes of my day,

at times. He gives me everything, even the things I only think I want. And my God is awesome and everywhere, and I experience Him in everything, and I feel and I know He is more than just a belief. He is knowing. Knowing I am just a spot in the universe, but His special creation–imaged after Him. And I and every person are the most important thing to Him,


Human cannot understand the the infinity, and larger than the largest thing man can make power, of His love. I am finite, He is not. I do not know where He came from, but I know I come from Him. And I’ve watched and listened to people conflate Him and defile His name, while saying nothing, like I don’t know Him, like I’ve forgotten Him–again. But He forgives me…

He forgives me.

He is

He is good.