how to decrease

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i know some of you out there wonder, “what’s with the lower case letters?” and most of you could probably care less, but for those of you who do, in short, i loathe and detest capital letters. as a poet/writer they’re just not my aesthetic.

that was the reason for most of the past few years, why i rarely use a capital letter in my writings–i just don’t like them. however, i did have to train myself to use small i’s to make my writing more uniform. lower case i’s just looked strange to me. despite their strangeness, a lone, lower case i is always striking because, it looks like it’s striving to be something–striving to be a part of something bigger.

all through our lives we are taught the by itself stands taller than the other letters–all eyes on i, or all eyes on me. we are taught the does not need anything to be everything other capital letters are with the support of other letters and punctuation. aside from lower case letters’ aesthetic properties, in the last nine months or so, i’ve been thinking more and more, and looking back on some of my poems; the only capitalizations are of God, Jesus, or any disambiguation of He or You (referring to God). under this principle, i found a new use for lower case letters, especially since i began trying to take music and writing seriously. i want to keep myself away from the mentality that i can do anything by myself away from God, or be bigger than the community of support He has placed around me. i keep hearing, “He must increase, and i must decrease.” i know it may be a bit silly to some, and the idea isn’t necessarily novel, but for me it’s just a physical reminder there is Love greater and bigger than the things i think i’ve accomplished.

the title of this post is “how to decrease,” and i am in no way saying if you start putting everything you write into lower case letters, you’ll miraculously be less arrogant, less selfish, or less whatever. the only way i truly decrease is practicing humbleness; striving to live in the mentality that i am a speck of dust that often drifts with the first wind to pick me up, and that i need a big God to settle me. i need a God who gives me other people to help, and other people to help me so we can learn from each other. i need a God who challenges me to do strange and uncomfortable things no matter how small. i need a God who reminds me rule number one of decreasing is realizing i don’t know everything, in fact i don’t know anything.

decreasing means a constant hunger to have the heart of a Man who did no wrong.

blessings,
destinie

prayed for

This week at church we’re having a youth week of prayer. As a part of that, tonight our leader asked for an older adult and a young person to pair off, and the older person was to pray for the younger. It’s a wonderful thing to be prayed for by an older person–a wiser person person in general. My person has one of the warmest, deliberate voices I’ve ever heard, and her hands were so soft as they wrapped themselves around mine. I can still smell her perfume between my fingers. 

To hear someone ask God to bless you and keep you safe, and guide you and show you what to do, is an awesome feeling. I don’t think we pray for each other enough though. Do we know how to pray for others? I once had a friend who said she felt so inadequate while she was doing her nightly prayers. She felt that there were so many things and people to pray for, that she could never get them all in, so after a while of praying, she’d just say, “You know the rest." 

I agree that sometimes it seems like the prayer list can seem so long. You have to pray for all the stuff going on in your life, and all the stuff going on in others’ lives who have asked you to pray for them, and even those who haven’t asked. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t fallen asleep during my own prayers before. But why does prayer seem so tedious sometimes? We should feel privileged to come before the Creator of the universe and everything in it, who has allowed us to come before Him with boldness, but we waste it sometimes. 

So I guess my final question is: how can we get past ourselves to pray?

blameless.

Why are we so afraid to let things dissolve into the “sea of forgetfulness?”* Once we confess our sins and give them to God, why are we still set on feeling guilty over it, instead of believing we have been cleansed from our unrighteousness?* If Jesus is able to keep us from falling and present us faultless before the throne, who are we to say “no you can’t?”* Which is what we do every time we refuse to forgive ourselves and let go of the guilt and shame we feel over sin. Jesus has given us the authority to say, “I am blameless,” and we have to accept that with all the ugliness we think exists within us. In fact, we have to do more than merely accept it, we have to claim it. That ugliness is what was, but God has made us new like a field of fresh flowers spreading beauty to all who behold us. 

However, to claim this forgiveness, confession has to be first. And it has to be true confession; no sugar-coating or being coy about the thing. Say it out loud, and complete and let God know that you’re acknowledging your wrong. Let yourself be forgiven and stop living inside all the feelings we are called to let go of, so that we may proclaim what we have been delivered from with boldness, so that we will be able to give account for what the Lord has done for us, and through our testimony help others recognize the power God has put within them. 

I am BLAMELESS. 

blessings,
destinie

*Micah 7:19
*1 John 1:9
*Jude 1: 24

Working With Broken Chains

In December I created a project for myself; for six months, I was going to write at least two poems and one song per week until June. This is still my goal. In addition to my spur of the moment writings, and things I had already written, I will have 50+ new poems and 25+ new songs to edit and record. It’s my plan to have a small manuscript of poetry to submit or possibly self publish, and to upgrade my music production equipment, which is next to nil right now. (I currently have a condenser mic, a cheap Behringer interface, and my DAW is Audacity). I took an electronic music class last year and fell in love with Pro Tools, so I’m going to try to get that, along with a new audio interface, and use it in conjunction with Ignite. I have a lot of plans for the year, one of which includes finishing school in June and graduating in August. Once all of that is over it’ll be time to really get down to business, and go elbow deep into my musical ventures (and hopefully find a job). Attached is my make-shift calendar, and as you can see, the chain is broken in a few places, but that’s all the more reason I need to ‘git r done’ (haha). I pray that God blesses all the plans I have and cancels those that conflict with His will for my life, only to replace them with ones that are even better.

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no fear

It’s been a long time since I blogged, and that has to change.

Since December I’ve been working on a double project: I will write two poems and one song per week until the end of May (six months). By June I will have at least 50 poems and 25 songs to edit and add to my collection. I hope to compile enough poems for a manuscript, and to record I’m not sure what yet (EP or album or something in between). I feel the tugging at my heart, even more now than at any other time, to get to work; it’s time I satisfied the pull. Or, perhaps not satisfy it, to keep me on toes with a constant hunger? Who knows? I just have to start, and discard all of those things I have apprehensions about, doubts and fears. I thank those of you out there who have supported me.

More original content from destinie flooding your interwebs soon.

I do this all out of a Godly love: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

-destinie (4LJ)

 

 

1 like = 1 prayer

I’m tired of seeing this everywhere. Have we been tricked into believing a prayer is sent up every time someone likes a picture, reducing communication with God to the click of a mouse or a trackpad? Just because someone likes something, doesn’t mean they’re going to pray about it, or that a prayer miraculously reaches heaven.

distractions, distractions

Satan provides so many distractions that make it so easy for us to fall away from God, preventing us from purposely taking time out of our day to even say a simple “thank you.”

Does anyone else struggle with this? I started the year so well, but not even two weeks in, I find myself saying, “I’ll do it later,” knowing good and well later will never come. I have to try harder not to slink into laziness and the “there’s always tomorrow” attitude, and this is with everything.

Since December, I’ve been working on a project that I hope to have completed and ready for the public eye and ear by August or September, and it’s going to be awesome. I need your prayers and thoughts to be that I will keep God first and constant in my life so I can stay on the right path to resist the enemy, and keep being led by His spirit to claim that which is for me. Thank you

– destinie