Can I name 5 things I like about myself?


Let’s see…

I like my smile—my genuine smile, not those trying-to-be-cute things I sometimes do on pictures, or the ones where I’m trying not to smile too hard so my eyes don’t close. I like this smile, the squinty smile, messed up eyebrows and all (I infected myself with the smiling bug! lol):


Hmmm, next I like my legs. They’re pretty awesome, if you don’t know 😉

I like my heart. Its a good one. It’s a hurting one—a fragile one—despite the hard facade it’s wrapped in. It’s beating inside the most loyal friend you’ll ever have—even in death.

I like my eyes—their expression. Every emotion I have is translated through my lids, lens, retinas, pupils, and corneas and all the other parts I can’t name.

Lastly, I like my veins. I like looking at them. I don’t know why, though. Maybe it’s because all my life is in those tiny, blueish tubes. Maybe its because the Blood will never lose its power. Along those same lines, I like my hands. They’re kinda kiddie, but sometimes they do things on the guitar I don’t expect them to


That’s six, but can you name 5 things you like about yourself?

Can I name 5 things I like about myself?

and, etc.

Jesus is my homie.

No, more.

Jesus is my savior and healer and I am a friend of God. I speak with Him every day, but not as I should. And I feel, and I feel

so low I cannot be bothered to give Him even thirty minutes of my day,

at times. He gives me everything, even the things I only think I want. And my God is awesome and everywhere, and I experience Him in everything, and I feel and I know He is more than just a belief. He is knowing. Knowing I am just a spot in the universe, but His special creation–imaged after Him. And I and every person are the most important thing to Him,


Human cannot understand the the infinity, and larger than the largest thing man can make power, of His love. I am finite, He is not. I do not know where He came from, but I know I come from Him. And I’ve watched and listened to people conflate Him and defile His name, while saying nothing, like I don’t know Him, like I’ve forgotten Him–again. But He forgives me…

He forgives me.

He is

He is good.

prayed for

This week at church we’re having a youth week of prayer. As a part of that, tonight our leader asked for an older adult and a young person to pair off, and the older person was to pray for the younger. It’s a wonderful thing to be prayed for by an older person–a wiser person person in general. My person has one of the warmest, deliberate voices I’ve ever heard, and her hands were so soft as they wrapped themselves around mine. I can still smell her perfume between my fingers. 

To hear someone ask God to bless you and keep you safe, and guide you and show you what to do, is an awesome feeling. I don’t think we pray for each other enough though. Do we know how to pray for others? I once had a friend who said she felt so inadequate while she was doing her nightly prayers. She felt that there were so many things and people to pray for, that she could never get them all in, so after a while of praying, she’d just say, “You know the rest." 

I agree that sometimes it seems like the prayer list can seem so long. You have to pray for all the stuff going on in your life, and all the stuff going on in others’ lives who have asked you to pray for them, and even those who haven’t asked. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t fallen asleep during my own prayers before. But why does prayer seem so tedious sometimes? We should feel privileged to come before the Creator of the universe and everything in it, who has allowed us to come before Him with boldness, but we waste it sometimes. 

So I guess my final question is: how can we get past ourselves to pray?


Why are we so afraid to let things dissolve into the “sea of forgetfulness?”* Once we confess our sins and give them to God, why are we still set on feeling guilty over it, instead of believing we have been cleansed from our unrighteousness?* If Jesus is able to keep us from falling and present us faultless before the throne, who are we to say “no you can’t?”* Which is what we do every time we refuse to forgive ourselves and let go of the guilt and shame we feel over sin. Jesus has given us the authority to say, “I am blameless,” and we have to accept that with all the ugliness we think exists within us. In fact, we have to do more than merely accept it, we have to claim it. That ugliness is what was, but God has made us new like a field of fresh flowers spreading beauty to all who behold us. 

However, to claim this forgiveness, confession has to be first. And it has to be true confession; no sugar-coating or being coy about the thing. Say it out loud, and complete and let God know that you’re acknowledging your wrong. Let yourself be forgiven and stop living inside all the feelings we are called to let go of, so that we may proclaim what we have been delivered from with boldness, so that we will be able to give account for what the Lord has done for us, and through our testimony help others recognize the power God has put within them. 



*Micah 7:19
*1 John 1:9
*Jude 1: 24

more on songwriting

When I’m writing a song, if I don’t finish it all in one sitting, I like to at least have a chorus written—whether it’s a verse and a chorus, or a chorus with no verse(s), or a chorus and a bridge. I believe the chorus, or some type of refrain (repeated words, phrases, etc.) is the main factor in setting the tone of the song. Repetition in song, or anything for that matter, is usually there to guide the audience to the heart of the work, even if meaning is not explicit. A song’s verses can say one thing, and the chorus can say another—seemingly. But, usually, the unifying factor is there if we listen close enough.

Today I was going through my old composition books and recordings and found this gem, written in the eighth grade, recorded a year or two later. I was surprised to see how many songs I had written. Going through my first composition book, I discovered that 95% of what I wrote when I first started was song lyrics; I’d always thought it was mainly poetry. 

I wrote this song to a friend who helped me through many a struggle, we’re not as close now, but she’s still a very nice person. 

So, what do y’all think? Have I improved?

Working With Broken Chains

In December I created a project for myself; for six months, I was going to write at least two poems and one song per week until June. This is still my goal. In addition to my spur of the moment writings, and things I had already written, I will have 50+ new poems and 25+ new songs to edit and record. It’s my plan to have a small manuscript of poetry to submit or possibly self publish, and to upgrade my music production equipment, which is next to nil right now. (I currently have a condenser mic, a cheap Behringer interface, and my DAW is Audacity). I took an electronic music class last year and fell in love with Pro Tools, so I’m going to try to get that, along with a new audio interface, and use it in conjunction with Ignite. I have a lot of plans for the year, one of which includes finishing school in June and graduating in August. Once all of that is over it’ll be time to really get down to business, and go elbow deep into my musical ventures (and hopefully find a job). Attached is my make-shift calendar, and as you can see, the chain is broken in a few places, but that’s all the more reason I need to ‘git r done’ (haha). I pray that God blesses all the plans I have and cancels those that conflict with His will for my life, only to replace them with ones that are even better.